I think I'm going to the school doctor today. This having a baby business has gotten my wrists into an unbelievably painful state. Really very terribly painful.

Thumb Sucker

Sleeper

It might seem silly to have so many videos of a sleeping baby, but he's so bloody cute when he sleeps!

of Love, Slings and a Smile

We nailed the ring sling! And he held his head up the entire time he was in there!

Evolution

Its amazing the evolutions that one goes through after having a baby (or at least that I've been going through). They have been sudden and gentle, rather than the life-shattering boom that I was led to expect by all the comments of, "your life will never be the same," generally offered in a negative tone. First there was the this-is-very-nice-but-can't-possibly-be-real stage. That was mostly in the hospital and the first day home. Everything was very marvelous and dreamlike, but felt somehow... dreamlike. Then came the this-is-so-wonderful-if-it-ever-changes-I-will-die stage. That included plenty of tears when I happened to think of terrible things like Skippy growing older. It lasted maybe a bit less than a week. Eventually I realized that Skippy growing up will be a fun and beautiful thing. I can't wait to see him smile, hear him talk, look up at him when he is taller than me. (Actually I am happy to wait, but excited for them to come.) I went through a stage of amazement at how normal my new life felt to me, like a return to a state of normalcy that had never so fully existed before. I realized that I feel better now than I ever have before in my life, physically or emotionally. I've never liked my body more than I do now, or felt more sexy and beautiful. My relationship with my husband is deeper and more beautiful, somehow more sensual. If this was a normal reaction to new motherhood, I can't imagine people making all the disparaging remarks that were made to me in my pregnancy.

None of the things that I worried about during my pregnancy have come to pass. I worried about baby blues, postpartum depression, having a horrible hospital birth, interventions, isolation, hating my body, differences in my marriage, not liking to breastfeed. I've been so lucky. Everything in my life and everything around me is more beautiful than ever before. -Except the pets. I can't much stand them anymore.- Nothing has fallen apart, and things I didn't realize were broken have been put back together. Life is good. And life is fragile.

Skippy has a bit of a cold right now. He's sniffling and boogering and he had his first ever projectile-vomit onto the suede jacket of a good friend who had come over to meet him. Right now he's bundled up to my chest in his Moby Wrap, where he's been for much of his young life. I realized yesterday that he has become familiar to me. Before he was very dear, and completely beloved, and a part of me in every way, but still a shock. Now he's familiar. Its hard to describe.

Before he was born, I decided I wanted to plant Skippy's placenta with a special tree. Our culture doesn't really have any customs or rituals for dealing with placentas the way many others do. Some people plant theirs though, and that seemed right to me. Because we're gypsies I decided to put it in a pot. That way no one will ever cut down Skippy's tree. Even Brandon got into it, taking me out to the nursery (his own suggestion) to buy (with actual money!) a nice pot and a tree. I had imagined him as a sugar-plum before he was born, but it was well past tree planting season when we got to the nursery, and Brandon didn't want to wait until spring to order a specific tree so our options were limited. There were little olive trees, quinces, pineapple guavas, Meyer lemons, Eureka lemons, kumquats, and a banana. We came home with a Meyer lemon. Here it is, kiwi in the background, planted up with the placenta that nourished my beautiful son.

Booby-Shark

See my little booby-shark hanging out with me on the couch being cute.